The Doctor

Zimmerisms, Season 5

(To hear the Zimmerisms, click on the stars.)

Extreme Risk

Bad news about the Maquis from last season finally catches up with B'Elanna, the crew build the Delta Flyer, the Doctor has a small part with no interesting lines.


In The Flesh, Stardate 52136.4

Species 8472 is back, this time they're at Starfleet Headquarters, in the Delta Quadrant...

* "He may look Human, he may sound Human, he may even smell Human, but there's no question, he's alien." (65k)

* "Talk about a wolf in sheep's clothing." (29k)

* "You're 100% Human." That's a relief. And Tuvok? "Green-blooded Vulcan through and through." (56k)

* "Well, two down, 125 to go." (26k)

* "Feisty little fellows. You've increased their cellular motility by over 200%." I thought it would be prudent to maximize their efficiency. (84k)

* "Seven, the last time we used nanoprobes, we sent 8472 scurrying back to fluidic space. You can't get more efficient than that." (71k)

* "I'm still holding out for a diplomatic solution." (29k)

* Species 8472 will not respond to diplomacy. "Funny, we used to say the same thing about the Borg." (63k)

* "My point is, anything's possible if you keep an open mind. Optimism, Seven. Try to look on the bright side." (61k)

* "Have you ever heard the phrase, the best defense is a good offense?" (36k)


Once Upon A Time

Tom, Tuvok, and Samantha Wildman crash land on a planetoid, meanwhile Neelix tries keeps Naomi busy with Flotter stories so she doesn't worry. The Doctor gives her a biology lesson...

* "Now what if I told you, that this fellow was invited to dinner, but he never got around to leaving?" (62k)

* "Turn back the clock a few billion years, to when cells first evolved." (51k)

* "These early cells had no mitochondria. They struggled along without them, making due with whatever energy sources they could find." (76k)

* "Then, one day, a mitochondrial ancestor arrived, broke through the cell wall, and made himself at home." (83k)

* They became friends? "The correct term is symbiosis." (53k)


The Doctor and Chakotay

Timeless, Stardate 52143.6

Future Chakotay and Harry, and the Doctor, save Voyager from an icy grave...

* "Please state the nature of...?" Long time, no see. (26k)

* "What's happened to the ship? The crew?" No time. (26k)

* "Wait! I demand an explanation." I'll give you one. We're here to change history. (80k)

* "You're intoxicated." Impossible. "Your blood-synthehol level is .05 percent. How many glasses of champagne did you consume?" One (98k)

* "Obviously the Borg can't hold their liquor." (17k)

* "Starfleet certainly took their time finding us." (24k)

* "A message back through time?" Exactly. (32k)

* We're wanted on two counts of high treason and conspiracy to violate the temporal prime directive. "Wonderful, out of the icebox and into the fire." (91k)

* "To aid an honorable thief or to spend eternity in cybernetic oblivion? Let's tempt fate." (90k)

* "I'm no time travel expert, but can't we just call Voyager again? The past isn't going anywhere." (62k)

* "I didn't spend all those years in an ice bucket so I could listen to you berate yourself. If you want to wallow in self-pity, fine, do it on your own time." (77k)

* "Somebody has got to knuckle down and change history and that somebody is you." (45k)

* "You told me you can't correct their phase variance. Alright, we have to accept that. But what about sending Voyager a warning? Is there a way to get them to abort the slipstream flight?" (108k)

* "If we can't get the crew home, at least we can save their lives." (29k)


The Doctor and Captain Janeway

Infinite Regress, Stardate 52356.2

As Voyager avoids the debris of a Borg cube, Seven gets the Borg equivalent of multiple personalities...

* "You were a Borg drone who's now becoming an individual. That's practically unheard of." (51k)

* "There's bound to be rough spots along the way. We just have to get past them." (51k)

* "Captain, I've exhausted every viable treatment in my database." (31k)

* "A mind meld? You consider that a viable treatment?" (29k)

* "Captain, you can't actually be considering this Vulcan mumbo jumbo?" (52k)

* "With all of these new personalities floating around, it's a shame we can't find one for you." (43k)


Nothing Human

A cytoplasmic being uses B'Elanna to stay alive, but a Cardassian holographic doctor is needed to save them both...

* "The physiology is so unusual, the tricorder can't make heads or tails of it." (47k)

* "The creature's obviously injured, but I haven't a clue how to treat it or even diagnose it." (49k)

* "If I'm to have any hope of devising a treatment, I'll need to brush up on my exobiology." What do you mean, brush up? Don't you have all this information in your database? (91k)

* "I may be a walking medical encyclopedia, but even I don't know everything. My matrix simply isn't large enough." (63k)

* "Don't be a pessimist, Mr. Kim. Together we'll create a masterpiece of holographic art." (53k)

* "I don't care if he's the nastiest man who ever lived, as long as he can help us save B'Elanna." Good point. (56k)

* And you, good man, what's your name? "Actually, I'm in between names at the moment." (70k)

* "Still, the recognition of your peers, your government, must be very satisfying." (50k)

* I'm sure you've made your share of breakthroughs. "Naturally. Unfortunately, no one from Starfleet ever hears about them. I toil in obscurity." (95k)

* "This is the 24th century, Krell. Your kind of barbarism ended a long time ago, or at least it should have." (68k)

* "I'm not concerned with today. It's tomorrow I'm worried about." (51k)

* "Captain Janeway has left your future in my hands. She believes that as Voyager's chief medical officer, it's up to me to decide whether your program remains in our database." (112k)

* "It is my judgement that the medical consultant program and all the algorithms contained therein shall be deleted from the database. In light of recent evidence, I cannot in good conscience utilize research that was derived from such inhuman practices." (194k)


The Doctor

Latent Image

The Doctor discovers a conspiracy against him, then finds out it is because his programming imploded eighteen months earlier...

* "A few protons never hurt anybody." (19k)

* Try to hold still please. "Are you making fun of me?" No. (64k)

* "I finished giving the crew their annual physicals, but as usual, the captain was a no-show." (56k)

* "Looks like I'm two for two. The Captain's acting like she's allergic to me and now my prize pupil won't even give me the time of day." (102k)

* "A little mystery has cropped up, evidence that I performed surgery on Ensign Kim a year and a half ago, before you came aboard. The trouble is, I don't remember it." (102k)

* "If I were given to paranoia, I'd say someone is trying to keep me from finding out what happened eighteen months ago." (68k)

* "I was quite a shutterbug back then. Not a day went by when I didn't record an image for posterity." (50k)

* "Let's have a walk down memory lane." (21k)

* "A mutiny? I suppose that's better than a conspiracy." (43k)

* "You've been manipulating my program. Don't deny it." I don't intend to. (40k)

* "There's conflict in my programming!" Yes. "That's not good enough!" It'll have to be. "Captain!" (48k)

* "How would you like it if I operated on you without your consent, or without your knowledge?" (41k)

* "I don't believe you. You'd feel as violated as I do right now." (35k)

* "What if they have an equal chance of survival? What then? Hmm? Flip a coin? Pick a card?" (127k)

* Doctor. "Oh, I'm alright. I'm a hologram. I don't get injured. I don't feel pain. I don't die, unlike some people I could tell you about." (91k)

* "Don't touch me. I'm a hologram, photonic energy. Don't waste your time." (54k)

* "Then, what should I see me before me but the hors d'ouevres tray and another decision. Do I take a canape or refuse. Oh, that's an easy one. I'm a hologram. I don't eat." (117k)

* "Don't you know it's rude to refer to somebody in the third person? You had a choice, Mr. Neelix, should I do something rude, or not do something rude?" (77k)

* Doctor, we must return to sick bay. "Why should I? What if I don't want to return to sick bay? What if I decide not to return to sick bay?" (104k)

* "The primordial atom burst, sending out its radiation, setting everything in motion. One particle collides with another, gases expand, planets contract, and before you know it, we've got starships and holodecks and chicken soup. In fact, you can't help but have starships and holodecks and chicken soup because it was all determined twenty billion years ago." (299k)

* "How could you sleep at a time like this?" (19k)


Gravity, Stardate 52542.3

Tom, Tuvok, and the Doctor crash on a planet inside an anomaly from which they can't escape...

* "I'm guessing we hit a snag." (19k)

* You speak her language? "A universal translator was written into my program." (48k)

* "Shut down my program! Why?" (31k)

* "I'm a doctor, not a battery." (16k) - he's a battery in Timeless...

* "The longest flirtation in Starfleet history." (28k) - Tom and B'Elanna of course

* "How long has it been since I was last activated?" Almost two months. "Two months?" (57k)

* "So, what's new?" Oh, same old thing, fighting off scavengers, hunting spiders. (77k)


Bliss, Stardate 52542.3

A bioplasmic creature fools the crew into believing they've returned to Earth. The Doctor, Seven, and Naomi Wildman have to save everyone...

* The wormhole is not what it appears to be. I believe that the crew is being... "Hold on. Wormhole?" You weren't informed? "Not a peep." (84k)

* "This is a sick bay, not an arsenal." (19k)

* "And who might you be, the local monster expert?" (58k)

* "I don't remember asking for a second opinion." (21k)

* "Do you mind? The situation is dismal enough." (36k)

* "Starfleet's not in the habit of killing lifeforms." (31k)

* "I'm something of a Renaissance EMH." (20k)

* "As appealing as that sounds, I'm a doctor, not a dragon-slayer. My program requires that I do no harm." (73k)

* "I'm a doctor, not a dragon-slayer." (21k)


Dark Frontier, Stardate 52619.2

Captain Janeway wants a transwarp conduit from the Borg, and Seven seemingly uses the opportunity to rejoin the collective...

* "Eureka! I was hoping to find one of these. It's a servo-armature from a medical repair drone. Laser scalpel, biomolecular scanner, microsuture, all rolled into one instrument." No Federation sick bay should be without one. "This could revolutionize the way that I perform surgery." (206k)

* "This is an important stage of your social development, Seven. Try not to think of it as simply a research project, but as an exploration of how you were raised." (93k)

* Doctor, are you alright? "Just a little motion sickness. I'll need to adjust my matrix to accommodate for extreme velocity." (93k)

* "I believe the Captain's order was steady as she goes." (35k)

* "They should have quit while they were ahead. Ten million teraquads of data, three years in the wild." (65k)

* I agree their methods were unorthodox, but that's been true of most great explorers. "Most great explorers don't take their four year old daughter along for the ride." (7k)


The Disease

Harry becomes "infected" with love sickness for an alien in a xenophobic generational ship, after fraternizing against direct orders...

* "Lie still." I feel fine. "No doubt you're feeling wonderful. Your beta-endorphins are abnormally elevated." (62k)

* "You've been spending a lot of time on the generational ship. Do you recall coming into contact with any toxins, anti-matter radiation?" No. (79k)

* "Maybe something in one of their medical bays, a biological agent?" No. (45k)

* "Did you consume any of their cuisine?" No. (31k)

* "This could be the work of an alien virus. We'll have to initiate full quarantine protocols. Inform the Captain and request a bio-alert." (68k)

* "You had intimate contact with an alien species without medical clearance?" (39K)

* "Correction, if you'd been thinking, you would have considered the risks and exercise restraint." (44k)

* "Chronic sleep loss, acute gastro-enteritis, you must feel awful, yet you're still refusing treatment?" (76k)

* "Sometimes I think everyone on this ship has been possessed by alien hormones." (41k)


The Doctor and Seven

Course: Oblivion, Stardate 52586.3

Tom and B'Elanna get married, an enhanced warp core is brought online, then the ship and the crew start to lose cohesion...

* "The idea is to shower the couple with a symbol of good fortune, not garnish them like a roast chicken." (61k)

* "Apparently, the original Kathryn Janeway's memories were duplicated as well. Somehow, after the real Voyager left, we began to forget we were duplicates." (119k)


The Fight

With Voyager stuck in chaotic space, Chakotay's dormant "crazy gene" is reactivated by aliens and he gets stuck in the hallucination of a boxing match...

* "You're not crazy. I believe the aliens are reconfiguring your neural pathways so they can communicate with you." (65k)

* "Got a good mind to use a needle and thread, add a little authenticity to your fun." (48k)

* "Pointless violence, that program shouldn't even be in our database." (36k)

* "The idea's simple enough, do enough damage to your opponent to render him unconscious." (44k)

* "You're not going crazy. They're doing this for a reason. You've got to trust them." (32k)

* First contact? "It was brief, but he definitely communicated with them." (50k)

* Rentrillic trajectory. "Unfortunately, they never got around to explaining what that meant." (56k)

* "It's your fate. Your destiny. There's no escape." (44k)

* "They want you." Why? "Because you have the gene." The crazy gene? "Yes, the crazy gene." (70k)

* "The aliens are trying to speak to you and the only thing keeping you from understanding them is your own fear. Your fear of losing control. Your fear of the unknown." (79k)

* "Allow yourself to hear them for just a few moments. Do it for us." (35k)

* What will happen to me when they're done? "You'll be on Voyager surrounded by friends." (66k)


Think Tank

Some aliens want Seven to join their group, and placing Voyager in a paradox to obtain her...

* "Brace yourselves." (17k)

* "Back to square one, how do we find them?" (26k)


Someone To Watch Over Me

The Doctor gives Seven social skills, and falls for her in the process...

* "They say gossip travels faster than warp speed." (33k)

* "Perhaps you should consider expanding your research to the realm of dating." Dating? You mean procreation? "One step at a time." (103k)

* "Dating is a human ritual wherein two people share a social activity, get to know each other. In time, it can lead to a romantic involvement, and eventually, if all goes well, even marriage." (115k)

* "I've prepared an introduction. I call it 'Love amid the stars'." (60k)

* "The Milky Way, home to thousands of humanoid species and countless courtship rituals." (74k)

* "It may seem pointless, but small talk is a vital dating skill. It helps to establish a rapport with your companion." (61k)

* "I've had my share of romantic encounters." (25k)

* "What do you want out of life?" Perfection. "Perfection is a laudable goal for oneself, but you can't expect it from others. I learned that lesson myself when I was first activated." (116k)

* An mp3 of the Doctor and Seven singing "You Are My Sunshine". (931k)

* "You know I don't drink, I don't have the stomach for it." (29k)

* "These past few days have been unforgettable. You've brought light into my life, Seven." (107k)

* "It's as if you've become a part of my program. When we're apart, I feel like I'm missing a subroutine." (65k)

* An mp3 of the Doctor, a little depressed, singing "Someone To Watch Over Me". (993k)


11:59, Late December 2000

The Captain researches the ancestor who inspired her to join Starfleet, but finds family stories aren't always what they seem...

* "I too come from a distinguished line." His cousin's an electric shaver. "Hardly. My program was compiled from the most advanced holo-matrices in the Federation. My cousin was a prize-winning chess program." (157k)


The Doctor and Captain Janeway

Relativity, Stardate 52861.274

Captain Braxton is back, trying to save Voyager from destruction — at his own hand...

* "Did you call me to chit chat, or is there an actual emergency?" (33k)

* "I'm designed to practice medicine as efficiently as possible. Small talk only compromises my performance." (56k)

* "An injection a day keeps space sickness away! You try to be funny after treating 37 cases of nausea." (79k)


Warhead

The Doctor insists on helping a sentient weapon, only to be taken over by it...

* "It says it's injured, it needs our help. It's asking why it can't see, or feel it's arms and legs. It's terrified." (137k)

* "I don't want to risk psychological trauma." (19k)

* Doc, this is a machine. "One which is confused and asking for our help. We should beam it aboard." (61k)

* Away mission protocols dictate that we... "Morality dictates that we help. It may not be flesh and blood but it's clearly in distress." (73k)

* "No, technically speaking, I suppose I'm not a real person." (44k)

* "Well, that's an interesting question." (21k)

* "Look at it this way, you and I have something in common. Just because we're not organic beings doesn't mean we're in any way inferior." (72k)

* "I refuse to believe our only options are to kill it or abandon it." (37k)

* "Saving a life often entails risk." (25k)

* "You tried to destroy me." We were only trying to disarm you. "I'm a weapon." (60k)

* "I'm not programmed to negotiate." (21k)

* "I'm not programmed with superfluous data." (21k)


Equinox

Voyager finds another Federation starship stuck in the Delta Quadrant, but this crew haven't lived up to Starfleet standards...

* "I require your assistance." Who are you? "Your counterpart from the starship Voyager." (43k)

* How are you able to leave your sick bay? "This device allows me to go anywhere I please." (48k)

* "In case you weren't aware, your crew has been running criminal experiments here." I know. I designed them. (66k)

* "That's a violation of your programming." They deleted my ethical subroutines. (40k)


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