"One humanoid is pretty much the same as another from a holographic point of view." (36k)
(To hear the Zimmerisms, click on the stars.)
The Doctor, Suder, and Paris fight back against Seska and the Kazon, and have to save everyone else...
"One humanoid is pretty much the same as another from a holographic point of view." (36k)
"I'm programmed to provide medical care to anyone who needs it." (35k)
"I've learned that a bedside manner occasionally requires me to, how shall I put it, soft-peddle the truth. But bald-face lying, calculated deceit, I don't have much experience with that sort of thing. But my program is adaptive. If you really need me to be deceptive, I'm sure I could learn." (188k)
"What am I supposed to do? Lead a revolt with the gang from Sandrine's?" (101k)
"I'm a doctor, not a counter-insurgent." (17k)
"Get a hold of yourself. You're not just a hologram, you're a Starfleet hologram." (57k)
"One hologram and one sociopath may not be much of a match for the Kazon but we'll have to do." (54k)
"Yes, of course, you're right." (16k)
"Sticks and stones won't break my bones, so you can imagine how I feel about being called names." (41k)
"Very well, since you are obviously about to disable my program anyway, let me take the credit I deserve. I did sabotage the ship, all by myself. With the computer's help, of course." (110k)
Why create a thoron leak if you're not hiding someone? "I would think it's obvious. To make you believe I was hiding someone. I've had your people crawling through the bowels of this ship for hours looking for an intruder." (114k)
You're more talented in the art of deception than you led me to believe. "I was inspired by the presence of a master." (65k)
Tuvok remembers his repressed memories...
"I don't know what happened to you, but there can be any number of explanations. Hallucination, telepathic communication from another race, repressed memory, momentary contact with a parallel reality, take your pick." (128k)
"The universe is such a strange place." (21k)
A touching story of the friendship between Tom and Harry, while they're in prison. No great Doctor lines.
More aliens attack Voyager, the Doctor's program threatens a meltdown, and we meet Dr. Lewis Zimmerman (whose quotes are mixed in with the Doctor's here)...
The Doctor singing Italian opera on the holodeck. (360k)
"I may be an amateur, but I'm also known as a quick study, and as I am in charge of this program, you will do it my way!" (65k)
"I'm the one who needs another partner. You've got me so upset, I can't sing." (39k)
"It would help if you didn't fidget so much." (22k)
"When you're ready to leave, I will tell you." (19k)
"Lieutenant, you're perfectly alright. What are you still doing here?" (24k)
Some more Italian opera in Sick Bay - this one sounds a little clearer than the earlier one. (134k)
"Don't touch that!" - Dr. Zimmerman's introductory line. (13k)
"I'm a holographic recreation of Dr. Lewis Zimmerman, the creator of the Emergency Medical Hologram." (51k)
"You might say that." (9k)
I can see where you get your charming personality. "Not to mention my hairline." (42k)
"The EMH is a highly sophisticated program. You shouldn't go meddling in its matrix when you don't know what you're doing." (60k)
"Well, there's nothing more I can do. Either reinitialize it, or live with the knowledge that eventually this EMH will end up with the intellectual capacity of a parsnip." (93k)
"Look at all of this useless information floating around your buffer. Friendships with the crew, relationship with women. Do they find you attractive?" (112k)
You filled your memory with nonsense. "It was only during my off hours." You're supposed to be off during your off hours. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize." (92k)
"He's a sick man. This is where sick people come." (28k)
"You claim you're my friend but you don't even call me by my name." That's because you don't have a name. "No name, that's ridiculous! I demand you tell me my name!" (109k)
I have pointed out over and over, I am a diagnostic tool, not an engineer." - this quote is Zimmerman's, so now we know where the Doctor got his "McCoyisms" (48k)
"It's been a brief existence, but apparently a noble one." (38k)
Those Ferengi from TNG masquerade as prophets, and Neelix masquerades as a Ferengi. The Doc is barely in the episode.
B'Elanna has dreams of a telepath's past.
Three-year-old Kes wanders away from the tour and walks into a sacred shrine; Captain Janeway has a spiritual experience...
"I received a fascinating lesson in the challenges of getting clear scanner readings through solid rock." (53k)
"Mr. Neelix, you're wallowing. Wallowing in useless remorse. I'll have to ask you to stop, it's bad for the patient." (57k)
"You seem to be implying that I'm not paying attention. I assure you, I am monitoring her constantly. If I thought she were in jeopardy, I would act." (65k)
"Mr. Neelix, if you keep on pestering me with questions, I won't be able to concentrate on what I'm doing." (46k)
"I'm sorry, Captain, but it appears that everything you went through was meaningless." - third time's the charm, or she only listens to the Doctor? (68k)
Voyager goes back in time and sees Los Angeles, the Doc gets his mobile emitter...
How's it going? "I find your interest in my well-being to be less than genuine." (63k)
"A paranoid response indicative of bipolar personality disorder." - Henry Starling's diagnosis (42k)
"If my history is accurate, Southern California, in the late twentieth century, had no shortage of psychotherapists, competent and otherwise. I suggest you find one." (103k)
"Now, return me to Voyager." (29k)
I have to know my enemy. Give me Captain Janeway's psychological profile. "I'm a doctor, not a database." I'd say you're a little of both. (110k)
"I'm a doctor, not a database." - I always include these lines solo. 8-) (22k)
"I've been equipped with an autonomous, self-sustaining, mobile holo-emitter. In short, I am footloose and fancy-free." (92k)
And you, Mr. Leisure Suit. "There's a name I hadn't considered." (43k)
"Try to relax, you appear to be hallucinating." (40k)
God in heaven, help us. "Divine intervention is unlikely." (57k)
Kes is possessed by a criminal, and the Doctor has to transfer his consciousness out of her, sadly no good quotes.
The Q have civil war, and the Doc just has a small part at the beginning...
"Just remember, Kes, anyone can stargaze on the bridge, even a hologram with a mobile emitter, but the real action will always be in sick bay." (74k)
The Doctor saves the crew from some nasty viruses...
An away mission? "I'm the only member of this crew who can successfully enter a contaminated environment without risk. Besides, I've been looking forward to spreading my wings." (110k)
"As for the larger versions of the viruses, what I've termed the macrovirus, I would suggest a fly swatter." (77k)
"One down, ten billion to go." (74k)
"Who designed this ship anyway?" (27k)
Neelix, fearing he has outlived his usefulness aboard Voyager, gets into trouble with an old friend.
Harry Kim's in love again, this time with a holodeck character. The Doctor enjoys the running program...
"The life of a recreational hologram, dining, dancing, non-restrictive clothing. I see the allure." (140k)
Captain Janeway dies, then dies again, and again, and even the Doctor kills her after she contracts the Vidiian Phage...
"I regret to inform you that I have been unsuccessful" (36k)
"I've come to the conclusion that there's only one humane course of action." What's that? "Euthanasia." (55k)
Vorik starts his first Pon Farr, and picks B'Elanna to be his mate...
"Yes, I'm aware that Vulcans prefer to keep their mating practices very much to themselves. There's almost nothing in the medical database beyond a few observations made by Starfleet doctors over the years." (109k)
"I assume this is your first Pon Farr?" (26k)
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a normal biological function." (39k)
"With Lt. Torres, upset is a relative term." (36k)
"For such an intellectually enlightened race, Vulcans have a remarkable Victorian attitude about sex." That is a very human judgement, Doctor. "Then here's a Vulcan one. I fail to see the logic in perpetuating ignorance in a basic biological function." (163k)
"The Vulcan brain never ceases to amaze me." (28k)
She's a hologram, she isn't real. "Then I assume you have the same low regard for me." (60k)
"This could be a viable alternative for space-faring Vulcans." (99k)
"I'll get to work designing the half-Klingon version of the program. There's a copious amount of information in the cultural database about their mating practices." (83k)
The Doctor tries to improve himself but instead creates an alter ego...
"My personality improvement project. I've been interviewing the historical personality programs in our database. Then I select the character elements I find admirable and merge them into my own program." (129k)
What are you hoping to gain? "An improved bedside manner, a fresh perspective on diagnoses, More patience with my patients." (76k)
"In my opinion, you've become far too infatuated with these travelers." (33k) - he's not talking about Trekkies I hope
"Have you been naughty?" (32k)
"There's nothing like a heart that burns." (23k)
Doctor, have you been messing around with your program? "I would hardly call my effort to improve my performance as ship's physician, messing around." (80k)
What exactly have you done to yourself? "I've taken character traits from holodeck recreations of the most accomplished figures in history, scientists, poets, philosophers, saints." And incorporated them into your program? "Precisely." (144k)
"There's nothing casual about it. I've put a great deal of research into this project." (39k)
"So I made a mess of things?" (27k)
"Now those dark threads are in me, running through my program. Well, get them out, Lieutenant!" (96k)
"This is the fifth time in as many weeks that an away team member has ignored my preparatory report. I might as well stop issuing them." (66k)
"Watch your tongue, or I'll remove it." (39k)
"What is the nature of the medical emergency. What a hollow excuse for a life, servile, pathetic, at the beck and call of any idiot who invokes his name." (104k)
"Would somebody care to tell me exactly what we're all doing here? And why I'm wearing these ridiculous clothes?" (71k)
"Put those down before someone gets hurt, and I have to clean up the mess." (37k)
"The next time I want to enrich myself, I'll download a good book." (33k)
"I swear this oath by Apollo Physician, by Aesculapius, by health, and by all the gods and goddesses, in whatsoever place that I enter, I will enter to help the sick and heal the injured, and I will do no harm." (190k)
Neelix is nervous about being alone on an away mission with Tuvok...
"May I suggest a tranquilizer?" No, no, no, I'll be fine. (55k)
"Vulcans are notoriously difficult to impress." (27k)
"Mr. Tuvok seldom acknowledges my brilliance." (24k)
"A word of advice, Mr. Neelix, try to restrain you enthusiasm. You're there to observe and learn." (74k)
Harry becomes an alien, Tom gets jealous of the attention he gets on his new home planet...
"Another patient snatched from the jaws of death." (23k)
"I've never considered dreams as a diagnostic tool before. Your unconscious mind sensed these developing systems and tried to provide an explanation?" (124k)
"I'd certainly call that atypical behavior." (28k)
Kes goes through life in reverse...
"Well, you may have lost your memories, but you certainly haven't lost your determination." (35k)
I feel like I'm in a cage. Dr. Van Gogh says... Dr. Van Gogh? I thought you settled on Mozart? "Evidently, my interest in the great figures of art and culture will be an ongoing process." (199k)
Doctor, you've lost your hair. "I beg your pardon?" (35k)
The Doctor programs a family for himself, while Voyager studies astral eddies...
"My database contains everything there is to know about pediatric care and childhood development. I can't imagine a parenting problem I couldn't handle." (76k)
"I have had some experience with romantic relationships. I don't anticipate any problems there." (60k)
"You're in fine physical shape, Lieutenant. You may go ahead and engage in this reckless activity." (42k)
"And it's a wonder you're not dead. People like you who court danger should be thrown into the brig." Doc! "You never think of the consequences of your actions, the effect they might have on others. Oh no, live for the moment, take risks you shouldn't." (120k)
Dinosaurs in the Delta Quadrant...
"I've analyzed the alien's DNA. There are 47 genetic markers identical to those found in human DNA." (86k)
Their species evolved on Earth? "Apparently so. And from the look of it, you and he are distant cousins." (80k)
"That creature napping in sick bay is a dinosaur." (39k)
Tuvok's security holodeck training becomes center stage for entertainment, until Seska appears and reprograms everything, even the Doctor...
"20 ccs Nitric acid, a little proverbial salt in the wound." (41k)
"It was a pleasure treating you. Don't hesitate to call again." (25k)
The crew disappears one at a time...
"Welcome to Sick Bay. Take number." (43k)
"Then I can begin my new career as a tricorder." (24k)
"A typical defensive reaction, using an aggressive outburst as a shield against a perceived emotional threat." (77k)
"That's a valid observation. Defense mechanisms come in many forms." (38k)
"Fear of intimacy is a common indication of low self-esteem. Perhaps if you stopped to analyze the root cause, you might..." (78k)
Voyager reaches Borg space, and finds them already at war with another species...
"Resistance, in this case, is far from futile." (34k)
Home | Zimmerisms, Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4 | Season 5 | Links | The Legal Stuff